


This Time (E)

by softfornasejun



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, farewell sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:54:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29677320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softfornasejun/pseuds/softfornasejun
Summary: Purely Fictional.Part of This Time JoshTell AUlink: https://twitter.com/softfornasejun/status/1357542546419818497?s=19
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/Josh Cullen Santos
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	This Time (E)

I stop the door before Josh completely closes it.

Ever since we've got here, I am having thoughts about this. Knowing that this will be the last time that I'll be seeing Josh, I already decided about this, more like, I am acting with what my heart wants.

 **"Stell?"** he is exchanging glances with my hand on the door and to me.

I gulp, then I push him inside.

**"Stell? Anong gina-"**

I silence him by kissing him on the lips. Josh kind of squirming, pushing me away, but then I bite his lips and causes his lips to part a little bit. I grab this chance to enter my tongue.

Josh pushes me hard away, **"Stell anong ginagawa mo?"** He holds my shoulder, **"Nag-usap na tayo kanina, diba?"**

I look at him, straight into his eyes, and I can see his rejection. I lazily plop on the nearest soft, white bed, feeling dirty and pity myself.

 **"I'm sorry,"** a tear escape from my eye, **"This is our last night together. This is my last night to be with you. Tomorrow, you will go back to Baguio. I will be going to New York together with Ken,"** I look down, I am afraid to look again at Josh's eyes, **"I won't be seeing you anymore,"** I cry, thinking that, **"We will be moving forward on our different lives,"** I wipe my tears, take a deep breath and take again the courage to look at him, **"This sounds foolish. Still, I want you to claim me,"** Josh gaped his mouth, **"Pwede bang maging ito ang huling ala-ala ko sa'yo?"**

Josh kneel in front of me, **"Stell, may boyfriend ka. Siya dapat ang tinatanong mo sa ganyang bagay at hindi ako."**

I cry again, **"Alam ko!"** I pulled my hair, **"I know, but I don't have the guts to do it with him ng hindi ikaw ang una ko. Ang lame ng reason, no, I don't really have a reason, but I really can't do it with him,"** I touch his face, **"Josh, please."**

Josh's face looks hesitating. **"Stell..."**

 **"Ayaw mo ba?"** I ask him. I look so desperate right now, but this is my last chance.

 **"Of course I want it,"** he wipes my tears, **"noon pa. Pero, this is wrong. This is cheating. Ayoko ng ganito. Muntik nang may mangyari satin last week and ayokong maulit iyon."**

I close my eyes and let my tears fall freely.

_This is so pathetic. I am so miserable._

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I fake a smile at him, **"I understand,"** I quickly stood up and went to the door.

 **"I'm sorry,"** I twist the doorknob, **"Goodbye."**

**"Stell."**

I waited. I receive nothing, so I turn around at him.

His eyes are red, and some tears attempt to fall, but there is a hint of lust in it.

 **"Do you want it?"** he pauses and walks closer to me, **"Do you want me to be your first?"**

I face him entirely, **"Yes, I want it."**

He caresses my face, **"Let's get a shower first."**

💐

_This is so wrong.  
No, it's right._

Parang may angel and demon sa dalawang gilid ko na sinasabihan ako kung tama ba 'tong gagawin namin o hindi.

 _I know this is so wrong._ Kapag nalaman ito ni Ken, I shiver, I don't know what he will do to me.

_Pero mali bang unahin ko naman ang sarili ko? Ang bagay na gusto kong gawin sa taong gusto ko?_

I fidget my phone.  
Fuck, I am so torn. But, nandito na.  
I turn off my phone- _bahala na._

I startle when a warm hand touches my cold hands, **"You okay?"**

I look at Josh, **"Oo. Kinakabahan lang."**

 **"Pwede ka pang magback-out,"** he smiles. There, his warm smiles. _I'm going to miss that._

I shake my head, **"I already made my mind, Josh,"** I touch his hands too, **"I want you to be my first."**

He cups my face, **"This will hurt a lot. And I don't have anything here. Condom or lube,"** he shakes his head, **"I don't have it here."**

 **"I have a lube,"** I gulp, **"I bring it every time,"** I stand up and walk over to my pants, **"Here,"** I went back and give it to him, **"I don't know if this is enough,"** I sit again next to him, **"Pero according sa napanood ko, it is enough daw,"** I look down, **"Though I don't know if it's enough for a first time."**

He lifts my chin, **"You've watch?"** There is a glint of amusement in his eyes.

 **"Oo,"** I look down and blush.

He smiles so brightly, **"Grabe ka, Stell,"** he touches his chest, **"Wala pa nga pero I feel so..."**

I tilt my head, **"Why?"**

He shakes his head, **"I love you, Stell."**

**"I love you, too, Josh."**

He put the lube on the bedside table. He caresses my face; _he feels so warm_. I close my eyes, and soon after, he kisses me.

It's so warm. It's so peaceful. His kisses calm me. I feel the love. I feel so happy. And I can feel my lips find his home. 

I tilt my head and deepen our kiss. I feel Josh stops responding to my kiss for a millisecond, but then he gives the same pressure in kissing my lips.

He pulls away just an inch.

I pant.  
He pants.

I look into his eyes.  
He looks into my eyes.

I frown when I see a tear fall, **"Why are you crying?"**

**"I am just happy."**

I smile. I know you are happy but at the same time sad, just like me. _Isa tayong magandang halimbawa ng pinagtapo pero hindi tinadhana._

**"I love you so much, Stell."**

And he claims my lips again. More passionate this time. Then it became aggressive. He licks my lips, I shiver. He mumbles through our kisses, **"Open your mouth."**

I open my mouth, and I tremble when our tongue touch. We do the french kiss. It is messy because I don't know this. Yes, I almost did this last week, but it was just a try, feeling marunong. He holds my hand, and it feels like he is telling me that it is alright, that I should follow his lips' movements or his tongue.

I moan when his hand caresses my legs, slowly moving his hand up and down.

I pull away when I remember something, **"Josh,"** I pant.

He pants, **"Why?"**

I gulp and look straight into his eyes, **"Can I blow you?"**

He makes eye contact with me; his pupils dilate. **"D-do, you know how? Last time kasi..."**

 **"Napanood ko lang,"** I smile shyly, **"so I don't know if I will make you feel good."**

Josh gives me a lingering kiss, **"Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako kasaya ngayon. I haven't claimed you yet pero feeling ko sasabog na ako."**

I blush on that, _sasabog ka or the other...?_ I shake my head; _I am so naughty._

 **"Why? Ehh, Stell ha, iba iniisip mo sa sasabog,"** he laughs.

_I'll be missing that laugh of yours._

I close my eyes; _let's forget about everything_. This is Josh and me right now.

 **"Yeah,"** then I laugh too.

**"Pero sure ka?"**

**"Oo."**

He nods, then he holds my right hand, then places it on his hard-on.

I gasp, **"It so hard, katulad dati,"** and suddenly blurted it out.

 **"I am so hard for you,"** then he kisses me, and he guides my hand, **"Ikaw na lang ang bumubuhay sa kanya,"** rubbing his manhood in a circular motion.

I kneel and rub the visible skin on his legs. Both of us are wearing a bathrobe, but no underwear. I unknot his bathrobe, slowly revealing his manhood.

_Wow. So this is what other people's dick looks like._

I look at him, asking for permission. He then nods seconds later.

He moaned when my hand made contact with his shaft. I look at him, and he gestures me to continue.

I look at him when I experimentally give his head a lick.

He squirms and moans, **"Ah, fuck."**

Feeling proud, I adjust myself; I lean more and position my mouth exactly where his head his. Inhaled enough air, I took him and swallowed Josh length causes for him to hold my shoulders tight.

**"Stell, give a warning, please. I might come unannounced."**

I mumble a sorry while his shaft is still in my mouth. He speaks again, **"Fuck! Don't talk when you had me in your mouth,"** he ruffles my hair, I unconsciously flick my eyelashes and look at him, **"Ah! Tangina, Stell,"** he pulls me up, letting his shaft spring hard down there then he lays me carefully in bed, **"I'm sorry to interrupt you from eating me, but I can't hold it anymore,"** he pinches my nose, **"I might explode just by looking at your alluring face, with your mouth is full,"** he closes his eyes and shakes his head and pumps his shaft.

 **"Josh..."** I call his attention, **"stop that. You should come inside of me."**

He growls and positions himself between my legs, and he lowers himself, then grinds our fronts together.

I release a loud moan, **"Ah!"**

He smirks, **"You're hard too."**

I was about to speak something, but he kisses my lips again, then he kisses my eyes, nose, my mole. I smile, _just like the last time_.

He slightly lifted his head and kissed my neck. I accidentally thrust up, our fronts touch again, which causes Josh to moan on my ears.

His hands start to wander down, and his kisses went down as well. He unknot and removes my bathrobe, ultimately revealing my naked body to his eyes. He looks down at me, and I heard a groan from him. He caresses my chest, **"You're so beautiful,"** then kisses me again.

Pinching my left nipple, kissing the other side, planting feathery kisses on my stomach.

I anticipate what he is about to do, but he stops right above my shaft.

**"You shaved?"**

I nod, **"I shaved it for you."**

**"For real?"**

**"Oo naman."**

**"Fuck! You will be the death of me,"** he parts my legs wide and abruptly lifts my right leg over his shoulder.

In this position, I hide my face on the pillow; _it's so embarrassing_.

He puts back my right leg down, and he leans on me, touching my chin so I will look at him.

His balls touching my erection, I drink my moan. _Oh my-._

**"Anong problema? Should I stop it na ba?"**

I shake my head fast, **"No! T-this position of ours,"** I shut my eyes, **"It is so embarrassing."**

I felt his warm lips on my eyes. I open my eyes and see his smiling face, **"Don't get embarrassed. So don't close your eyes or hide your face,"** he kisses my cheek, **"I love you."**

I smile too, **"I love you too."**

He grabs the lube on the bedside table and position his self, parts my legs and lift my right leg again over his shoulder.

I just look at what he is doing. _I also watched the same, but it feels different when you are the one doing it. ___

__**"I am going to insert my finger ha,"** he coats it with lube, **"masakit 'to so please, tell me if I will stop ha."**_ _

__I nod._ _

__He slowly inserts his index finger. I hiss in a foreign intrusion._ _

__**"Okay, lang?"** he asks._ _

__I nod, **"Medyo masakit na nakakailang pero tuloy lang."**_ _

__**"I am going to push it further, ha,"** he said while his other hand is caressing my inner legs._ _

__**"Ah!"** I release a high-pitch moan. _What was that?__ _

__Josh panics and stops pushing his finger inside, **"Hey, why? Bakit?"**_ _

__**"I felt something good,"** I frown, **"ano 'yon?"**_ _

__**"Kaagad?"** _ _

__**"Why? Hindi ko magets."** _ _

__**"Dito ba?"** he pushes his finger further and curling a bit on the right._ _

__I moan again, **"Yes!"**_ _

__He pulls and pushes it again, exactly on the same spot but adding some pressure._ _

__I squirm underneath him, **"Oh! A-ah,"** I choke on my own words, **"Josh, fuck."**_ _

__He kisses my shaved legs and continues to thrust his finger in and out of my hole._ _

__**"Ahhh! Fuck, Josh!"** I tremble and toss my head._ _

__**"I am going to add another one."** _ _

__I nod then he thrust two fingers now._ _

_Fuck, two is better than one._

___💐_ _ _

___**"Josh, please..."** I pant crazily._ _ _

___**"Please what?"** _ _ _

___**"Just put your dick inside of me!"** _ _ _

___He laughs, **"Excited lang?"**_ _ _

___**"Please, stop teasing me,"** I beg at him._ _ _

___**"Okay,"** then he pulls out his fingers. I shiver on that, and I feel my hole clench._ _ _

___He puts plenty of lube on his shaft and pumps it._ _ _

___**"I am going inside of you,"** then he slowly pushes in me._ _ _

___He pauses. I grab that chance to take a deep breath as I feel his head successfully went in._ _ _

___He pushes his shaft further. I half moan, half groan as I feel my inside is getting torn apart._ _ _

___I shut my eyes tight. _It's so fucking hurt.__ _ _

___Josh stops, and I feel his lips against mine. I gladly kiss him back. Without breaking the kiss, he lifts my butt and slams his shaft in one swift motion._ _ _

___I arch my back and break from the kiss, **"Fuck, Josh!"** I feel my inner walls are tearing up, and my tears are welling up, **"Ang sakit! Tang-"**_ _ _

___He silences me with a kiss. He massages my butt. I smile at his gestures. _He is easing my pain.__ _ _

___Minutes later, I wiggle my butt, signalling him to continue. He is still kissing me when he pushes more; he is deep inside of me. He goes back to a kneeling position, grips my waist while his shaft is still deep inside of me. He pulls out just the tip, only remains inside, then slams back._ _ _

___💐_ _ _

___Creaking sound of the bed, slapping sound of skin, and my high-pitch with a combination of his manly moan, I shiver, **"Ahhh, hnnng, Josh..."**_ _ _

___I bite my lips hard. I feel too much. With Josh thrusting deep, fast and hard, I arch my back again, **"Fuck! Josh,"** I reach for his shoulder, **"kiss me, please."**_ _ _

____I am so close._ _ _ _

___He leans and looks at me._ _ _

___His eyes are sad; I cup his face, **"I love you, Josh. I love you,"** I close my eyes, and then I pull him into a passionate, lingering kiss. _Our last kiss.__ _ _

___I felt a tear fell on my cheek. I look at him. Josh is crying while looking at me, kissing me and thrusting deep in me._ _ _

___Seeing Josh like this, I can't control my tears. So I let them escape on my eyes as well._ _ _

____I am sorry. I can't be with you._ _ _ _

___I break from the kiss and pull him into a hug. I hug him by the neck, planting light kisses on his neck. He puts my legs around his waist then he grips my waist again._ _ _

___I mumble a sorry and an I love you._ _ _

___**"Sobrang mahal na mahal kita, Stell,"** he breaths heavily on my ears, **"Please don't forget this night."**_ _ _

___I nod and take a deep breath, **"I won't forget this. I won't forget you."**_ _ _

___**"Please, come, Stell. Come to me."** _ _ _

___And I did that. I came while trembling so much, curling my toes hard; there is so much pleasure that I can't explain._ _ _

___Josh kisses my neck, **"Malapit na ako, Stell,"** that made me came back to reality._ _ _

___I clench around his shaft, **"Come inside,"** I can feel his member tightens and soon after, he came- hot and warm liquid hitting my walls._ _ _

___I smile. I feel happy._ _ _

___He plops on top of me. Both of us breathing fast and heavy; our heartbeats are in sync._ _ _

💐

____Thirty minutes later._ _ _ _

___Wiping my cum on my chest and his stomach.  
Getting a warm towel and gently wipes my hole.  
Giving me a water bottle to drink.  
Grabbing his clean shirt and short, then helping me to wear it._

__

__

My heart jumps in joy. _Josh did the aftercare sex._ I smile. _Ang swerte ng taong mamahalin mo, Josh._

___**"Stell, let's sleep na."** _ _ _

___I lightly turn my head on him. He is back hugging me, hugging me like there is no tomorrow._ _ _

___**"Josh..."** _ _ _

___**"Shhhhh. Tulog na tayo. Don't think of anything else,"** he sighs._ _ _

_Mukhang alam mo yung gusto kong sabihin._

___I nod and hold his hand._ _ _

_Sana hindi matapos ang gabing ito. I just want to be at your side, Josh._

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me 🥺.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
